Hey, Black People!

I know you're all busy spittin' game in your white tees, slangin' caine in your white tees, and engaging in all other manners of various activities in your white-colored t-shirts that are so humorously oversized, but I wonder whether you might do me a favor: Could one of you get the classic "I'm With Stupid" slogan (accompanied by that ubiquitous arrow) screenprinted on your "white tee" and wear it around the projects you live in while I'm on my way to work in the morning? You all ("y'all") give me plenty enough to laugh about already, I'll grant, with your "mean mugging" and "bored posturing", but you could definitely step it up a notch, if my unengaged desires are any indication.

Don't get me wrong, you "hard niggaz" are absolutely adorable. It's just that you could do better. Thanks in advance for your time and attention to this matter. I'm sure I'll have more soon. In the meantime, please keep up with the contemptuous glares. They're terrif. Seriously.