Are you registered?
Well, Mikki is, but only as a sex offender in the state of New Jersey. As for wedding
gifts, we consider your presence at the ceremony enough of a gift. If you really,
really, really need to get us something, a bottle of booze is always lovely. But,
really, skip it and just show up.


What kind of weather should I be prepared for?
Oregon’s climate is temperate rainforest. That means it could be blasting a sunny
102 degrees, or it could be 65 and rainy. Best to be prepared for everything in that
range. Keep in mind the Friday dinner, wedding ceremony, and reception are all
outdoors. That said, netted slingshot briefs* are always appropriate.


We discussed special lodging arrangements with you. Is everything cool?
I have no idea. Get in touch.


Is there anything to do at this place -- what’s it called? Ed’s Field? -- besides
watching the two of you make out?
Oh, hells yeah. Know first that none of the rooms at Edgefield have TVs or
telephones. If that bothers you, either stay at the Best Western, bring your cell
phone and video iPod, or suck it up and interact with humans face-to-face for a
change, you fucking robot.

What Edgefield does have is an eighteen-hole golf course, a pool hall, seven
bars, three restaurants, a movie theater, and thirty-eight beautiful acres to roam
like a drunk buffalo.

This area of Oregon is full of attractions, too, like the Columbia River Gorge and
Multnomah Falls. And Edgefield is just thirty minutes from Portland.


How’d the two of you meet, anyway?
We’d rather not say.


I’m thinking of showing up before Friday. Will anything be going on?
Not at Edgefield, no. However, the two of us will be taking Thursday off and we
welcome the pleasure of entertaining and lodging anyone who shows up that day.
Also keep in mind we’re 30 minutes away from the best pinot noir vineyards in
the world. Nestled within are literally hundreds of thousands of bed and breakfast
facilities, including this one.

Portland has dozens of breweries, an excellent sake distillery, the best Japanese
garden outside of Japan, and the highest strip club per capita ratio of any major
American city. There’s also hiking galore and the best bookstore in the United
States (and let’s be frank -- probably Mexico and Canada, too). Have at it!


I’m bringing kids. Should I be afraid?
Not really. Edgefield provides rollaways, which you can use to wedge their rooms
shut from the outside. The theater shows kid-friendly films. They’re just tiny humans, when you think about it. They can do almost anything we can.


Do I need to bring a tux? A thong?
Semi-formal, my man (or wo-man).


Pets?
No. Sorry. Edgefield policy.


What, me pay?
We cover Friday dinner (and drinks), Saturday heavy hors d’oeuvres (and drinks)
during the reception, and lunch (and drinks) during Road House. You provide
everything else.


I’m a recovering alcoholic / teetotaler / member of some odd cult that doesn’t
allow me to imbibe inebriants. Where do I fit in?
Umm... soda?


*We highly recommend those endorsed by Joe Namath.